i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
