Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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