you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
