I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
