God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
