Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we should paint friendship bongs
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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