You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize