i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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