You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
