I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
