Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
