i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
