She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
