I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
