i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
