my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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