my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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