weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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