For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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