Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
