i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
