it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
