It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
