She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
