Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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