Swine flu. Run for my life!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
