If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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