i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My cat gives me a boner
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
