you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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