for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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