Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
this beer tastes like vomit already
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
