I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
