I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
