these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
