Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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