I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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