Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
