It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
