yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's Friday. Sex?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
