I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
