you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
