I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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