Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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