I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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