omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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