she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
