just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
