Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
