We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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