I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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