It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think people are normalizing furries
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
