also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
