She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
