So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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