Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
