Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I enjoy the company of your penis
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
