Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
