All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My penis needs a shock collar
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
