I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
