dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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