i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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